2012, wow can't believe it is finally here. 2012 the year that ends the mayan calender. the year of my 20th class reunion, i have never went to the previous 19 so that's not a big deal. the first day of 2012 and  i would have to say nothing went horribly wrong, but nothing still seems to want to go right. i even went back to old wives tales on what and what not to do on this day to bring you luck the rest of the year. i'm not even slightly superstitious either. i guess if you believe in the mayan prof icy that the world will be ending in less than a year then you must be having a blast. i know i would but then again maybe we all should live today like it is your last day on earth. don't let anything hold you back. experience all this world has to offer and soak in every second of it. cherish it because somewhere in the world today thiswill be the last for some people.
     what if you knew tommorrow was going to be your last day here? would you be complacent in your day to day routines to keep your mind off what was going to happen at the end of it? maybe you would try things you have always wanted to do. or maybe you would go psycho on all the people that has wronged you in the past  and after that robbing banks for the thrill of it. most people would answer this question by saying they would want to just be with there family and loved ones
     2011....man what a fucked up year i had. grandmother passed away. the night of the epic storms that left the entire western state of tennessee in pieces and gave me a job for the summer trying to fix this 112 year old house with  the heat indexes some days hitting over 115 degrees. 2011 brought with it these lovely gall stones i now have and are hurting me so much to want to take  my own knife to them just to get them out of me. oh my god and the face book addiction i picked up and let take control of my life. it did bring me many new friends from around the world. most of them i now consider my family more than my family and i wouldn't trade that for any thing. this past year brought me the unbelievable joys of falling completely  and truly in love and in the end every ounce of sorrow and heartache to go along with the realization that it wasn't going to end as i had planned. 
     it brought with it extremely bad timing. it seemed like it was either a little to late for that or just a little bit earlier and how your life would have been different. now that i am really thinking about it, i don't see how i even survived it at all. 2011 was horrible to me. and it looks like 2012 is going to turn out even worse judging by the way today went. stay positively patient and patiently positive,  with lots of deep breathes.