there is a couple of things that absolutely gets on my very last nerve. i can't stand to be lied to. don't waste your breath because telling one lie will lead to having to tell another to cover that one up and then another and another. i also hate to be ignored. if someone texts me at 3am I'll answer them but for some reason when i text it takes hours and a couple more text for them to answer me. now sprinkle in manic bouts of depression and stir in severe rejections issues thanks to past girlfriends and i start to remember why I've stayed single. every woman I've met in the past thirteen years  was never given the chance to really get close to me. i wouldn't let it happen because i knew the  pain that always followed when they left. 
     the one time i drop my guard thinking "oh, it's just a woman on the Internet. we both know nothing could ever come from it." holy hell was i wrong. it's hard for most people to even fathom how anyone could fall for someone they've never even met before and i was one of them. but the more we talked and the more we found out about each other the more it seemed like we had been separated at birth. there was a connection there that felt like we had been together in a previous life or something and before i knew what hit me i had fallen hook, line, and sinker. eight months, almost a divorce, and some how being blamed for all of it and what do i have? the pain I've tried so hard to keep out of my life. only this time i knew for sure she was the "one" and it hurts ten times more than it ever has.
     i believed that no matter what got throed at us nothing would stop us from being together. we could over come anything as long as we did it together. after all the threats, the abuse, the manipulation tactics we still had a chance, until her family stepped in and convinced her she was making the wrong choice believing in some guy from the Internet she had never even met. i was willing to give up everything I've ever known moving to where she lives. i was willing to take probably the beating of my life by her husband and his family(seriously? the hammer of god? lmao) to be with her. i was wiling to have to constantly look over my shoulder for the rest of my life for her. what have i gotten in return? ............NOTHING!!! no I'm sorry, no i hope you understand why I'm doing this, no i hope you can move on, no explanation, not even a goodbye. but at least i get rejected, ignored, depression, and probably was lied to. all with a cherry on top to help remind me why i will never fall for anyone again.