after months and months , everyday falling more and more in love, being patient even when the frustrations of seeing what was happening became unbearable, and believing we were meant to be a part of each others lives, she left to go back to her old life. no i'm sorry, no explanation ore reasoning, and not even a goodbye or an "i hope you can move on". i never felt the way i do about her with anyone else, ever. everything i did even on a daily basis was with thoughts of her. i gave her my heart to keep forever and the void she left in my life can't be filled. it's been over a month since i've had any contact with her. just when i think things are getting easier and the days are starting to be less painful it all crashes back down on me. it's supposed to get better with time. well, it's not. i'm really trying to get over her. i just can't do it. i miss her so much it's crippling and renders me not wanting to even get out of bed some days. i've been through so much in my life and consider myself a very strong individual. the love of this woman broke that strong spirit down to nothing but dust. everything i try to find out any information on how she is doing gets met with either a run around or gets completely ignored. the only thing i have to go on is what she said the last time we spoke. which was she had no other option even though she don't want to go back to that life she had to. only thing i've heard since is that she's trying to work on her marriage and things are going better. making the best out of a situation instead of trying to get out of it doesn't solve the problems that's been there for years and has never went away. i want nothing more than for her to walk back into my life. i would completely forgive her. but, this changed who i am inside. i don't see her being able to do that. i still feel it every time she thinks about me and i'm feeling it less and less each day. i will never love like this again. the thought of the possible rejection again won't allow me to. i will carry this void i now have with me forever without even trying to fill it. it will be a constant reminder that i have no more love left to give.
Monday, July 23
Voids Left
after months and months , everyday falling more and more in love, being patient even when the frustrations of seeing what was happening became unbearable, and believing we were meant to be a part of each others lives, she left to go back to her old life. no i'm sorry, no explanation ore reasoning, and not even a goodbye or an "i hope you can move on". i never felt the way i do about her with anyone else, ever. everything i did even on a daily basis was with thoughts of her. i gave her my heart to keep forever and the void she left in my life can't be filled. it's been over a month since i've had any contact with her. just when i think things are getting easier and the days are starting to be less painful it all crashes back down on me. it's supposed to get better with time. well, it's not. i'm really trying to get over her. i just can't do it. i miss her so much it's crippling and renders me not wanting to even get out of bed some days. i've been through so much in my life and consider myself a very strong individual. the love of this woman broke that strong spirit down to nothing but dust. everything i try to find out any information on how she is doing gets met with either a run around or gets completely ignored. the only thing i have to go on is what she said the last time we spoke. which was she had no other option even though she don't want to go back to that life she had to. only thing i've heard since is that she's trying to work on her marriage and things are going better. making the best out of a situation instead of trying to get out of it doesn't solve the problems that's been there for years and has never went away. i want nothing more than for her to walk back into my life. i would completely forgive her. but, this changed who i am inside. i don't see her being able to do that. i still feel it every time she thinks about me and i'm feeling it less and less each day. i will never love like this again. the thought of the possible rejection again won't allow me to. i will carry this void i now have with me forever without even trying to fill it. it will be a constant reminder that i have no more love left to give.
