warning: the following post contains descriptions of sexual acts that may be sensitive in nature to some. the accounts here are not fictional and was shared with me in confidence by a woman struggling with abuse, there for the names of the parties involved have been changed,



     Nadia and i had a real friendship that had developed online that was sexual in nature at times but was always "make believe". she liked to claim she couldn't be freaked out by anything sexual. so me being the freak i am i took that as a challenge to at least try. it was fun, very fun but nothing more.
     one night i half jokingly to her saying, "i expect a huge gift basket from you and your husband Richard(let's just call him dick for short), after all the ideas i have given you to try out in the bed room to spice things up a bit." little did i know that after saying that our lives was about to change completely. 
     the next six hours that past consisted of her opening up her life to me and i opened up my life to her as well. "it doesn't matter. he never tries anything new. he doesn't even care about my wants and needs. he doesn't even pay me any attention except when he's horny."
     "why not?" i asked. " isn't that is what marriage is about? trying new things and wanting to please your spouse?"
     "i don't know. i guess so but it's always the same every time" Nadia said sadly.
     i felt almost obligated to offer my help. "do you mind me asking what it is the two of you do in bed together?"
     a couple of minutes of silenced past and just as i was about to apologize for asking Nadia spoke up. "dick will be in the bedroom watching TV and he'll text me that he's horny. so, I would have to tell him no because the kids was there and it's the middle of the afternoon and my daughters in the floor playing. he would have to wait til the were asleep but he won't listen and demands i come give him a blow job. i don't want to start and argument so i go give him one. then we have sex after the kids go to sleep which never lasts long enough and when he's done he just gets up and tells me he doesn't know why he even bothers that I'm not any good at it and i don't know how to please a man anyways. Dick leaves and goes to another room leaving me there to finish things myself with my toys. it really hurts  but its been like that forever."
     with my jaw on the floor in shock, "WHAT!!! oh my god I'm so sorry Nadia. i had no idea it was like that for you. how? why? i don't understand why someone would be that way. i take you love each other don't you?"
     " i guess...i mean i don't know. that's not the worst part"
     "what do you mean? it gets worse?"
     "that is the only time he pays me any attention. he doesn't pay any attention to his kids unless i ask him to. if he does pay me attention he always says hurtful things to me and i try to tell him but he just laughs and says i can't take a joke. i wish i knew what i was doing wrong."

     ......to be continued

     sorry this is very hard for me but i will continue it when my stress levels return to normal.

     OK, where was i? aah yes, so i asked her, "what all does he say to you? "
     "i don't just hurtful things. he says I'm stupid but he thinks everyone is stupid, so."
     "you're not stupid and don't think for a second any of this is your fault because it's not." i told her.
     "OK." she said followed by silence. about a minute later, "dick just left for work. he got the lunch i made him and walked out the door not saying anything to me. he didn't even look at me. see what I'm saying?"
     "you always tell your wife you love her and kiss her goodbye just in case something happens and that's the last chance you get to. what else has he said to you?"
     "he is all the time telling me my ass is going to grow roots if i don't get off the couch and do something. i do everything around here. i cook, clean, take care of my kids. i make sure all of that is done. i make his lunch every night. wash his clothes. if i decide to have a few drinks every now and then he calls me a drunk. I'm not a drunk."she said.
     at this point i kinda knew where the conversation might go. i went ahead and asked. "has he ever hit you?" very quickly she answered. "no he's never hit me."
     "he's never put his hands on you?" 
     "no, he's never hit me." she said again.(red flag, you don't have to hit to hurt and bruise). "OK i just wanted to make sure. you don't have to live like that. he's mistreating you and not showing any attention to you. do you still love him?"
     "i still love him because he's the father of my kids...but I'm not in love with him and haven't been for a couple of years. ever since he cheated on me after my daughter was born." she said.
    "so you know for a fact he cheated on you?"
   "yeah. he came out and told me he did and who it was with but now he denies it ever happened."
     this woman doesn't drive, doesn't work, they live away from the city, only real friends she has is his friends and family, and he controls all the finances. i couldn't send her a gift at Christmas because she said he would know because he keeps up with every thing i have. i already knew what was going on. and wanted to talk allot more to her about it but it was only a couple hours until her kids got up for school but we said goodnight to each other. that night changed our lives. every ones lives because in the days, weeks, even months ahead would be a roller coaster ride of emotions and abuse. I'll continue the story at a later date. it's still ongoing some what. lets just say i haven't heard anything from her in seven weeks now. seven weeks today.